O Lord, why do you stand so far away? Why do you hide when I am in trouble? Psalm 10:1
Why, God? Why me?
I admit it. I have asked this question of God a time or two hundred, just as I am sure many believers do. At times we don’t understand why a God who loves us all, also allows pain and suffering in our lives, or the lives of others. Why does he allow our loved ones to hurt? Why does he take the people and things that mean so much to us?
“For just as the heavens are higher then the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts” Isaiah 55:9.
Yes, God does have a divine purpose, a greater plan than we could ever imagine. This week as my husband’s family comes to terms with yet another unexpected death, this is the promise to which I must strive to cling, because if I am being completely honest-there are far too many things in this life I could never understand on my own. Far too many “Why’s” I want to scream at God.
Why my son, God?
Why my Son, January?
Why won’t you take away this daily pain, God?
Why did my Son have to endure so much pain, January?
Why did he/she have to die, God?
Why did my Son have to die, January?
Why me, Lord?
Why not you, January?
So many questions. So much pain and sorrow. So many reasons to believe that God could not really love his people.
But he does. Enough to send his Son to die for us, for me. For your sins, for my sins.
I may never come to terms with tragedy, sorrow, and the sadness that so many endure here on earth, and I certainly don’t have all the answers for those “Why” questions. I am also certain there will be many more days when I doubt God’s plan and fail to believe He really cares about what is going on in my life. On those days, I want to be reminded to keep holding on to the promise that joy will come, sadness will one day be no more, and His perfect plan will finally be revealed.
The song “Holding On” by Jamie Grace has been playing over and over in my head for the past few weeks as I have wrestled with uncertainty and doubt in my own life. It’s a reminder that when we have nothing else on which to cling, when our days are all dark, and when we just don’t believe He is there, we CAN cling to Him for strength, for guidance, and clarity. I hope the song speaks to you as much as it has to me these last few weeks, and that it is a reminder to you to hold on when all you want to do is ask God “Why?”
The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Psalm 9:9