Well, I did it again. For the second time in less than two weeks, I managed to once again lock a kid inside our vehicle. While the first time my 6 year old was able to come to the rescue, in this instance, Hunter, our five year old was not skilled enough to unbuckle himself from his car seat and unlock the door. So, he was alone, in a locked van, screaming bloody murder. And, my most glorious Mommy moment was certainly not in the Walmart parking lot, on a cold Saturday night, talking to the back window of a van, or waiting for the fire truck that would show up to save the day!
And the last time I panicked. I had a mommy meltdown. Although, I did have a few tears, this time I felt peace.
I had called out to God. He hadn’t given me an answer. He remained silent while my little boy screamed, but I knew he was there with us in that cold parking lot, even if we didn’t know exactly what to do, or who to call.
I knew God would not leave us.
There is a quote often seen on social media and in many posts sprinkled throughout the internet. The quote states: “When you are going through something hard, and wonder where God is, remember the teacher is always silent during the test.”
He has been silent lately. He was silent in that Walmart parking lot, and he has remained silent so many times over the past couple weeks. So many times I have called on Him for help, but haven’t heard an answer.
As life with a teenager has gotten more difficult. As we muddle through and try to understand some of the things we never thought we would have to face as parents, we have looked to God for help. Lord, give us the answers to help him. Help us guide him, Lord. Give us the words to say, because I don’t think I can come up with them on my own.
Still, he has been silent.
And yet, in this silence I feel peace.
“She knows Me so intimately and trusts Me so completely, that she no longer depends on my voice, loving glances, or other outward signs to know My approval. She is not dismayed or discouraged by any circumstances I arrange for her to encounter. She trusts Me when common sense, reason, and every subtle instinct of the natural heart would rebel, knowing that I am preparing her for eternity, and realizing that the understanding of what I do will come later.” -Streams in the Desert, February 9
I want to keep striving to be like the woman described above. The one who in the midst of circumstance after circumstance, battle after battle, and worldly distractions galore, knows that God is watching over her, even in His silence. Finding peace in all of life’s circumstances.
Having faith and peace does not mean we are immune to the trials of life. Instead it means that through the storms, when He is silent, when you don’t know what to say to a hurting child, when you are trying with all your might to get inside a locked car in a Walmart parking lot, when you are searching for the answers and hearing no responses…we have faith in the promise found in Hebrews 13:5: I will not leave you or forsake you.
And when he is silent, you can rest in the peace that guards our hearts and keeps us from drowning when the rains start falling.
When he is silent, we can be assured that these are the trials God has brought us to, and he will see us through to the end.
When we are afraid and feel like He has left, we can remember, “the teacher is always silent during the test.”