The picture above is me at around 22. My oldest about 3. Tomorrow that little boy will be celebrating the first birthday of his own son, at the tender age of 21.
Tonight as we settle down for Sunday dinner and celebrate this precious life on the eve of that momentous birthday, I want that little boy…now a young man to know these things.
First-I love you. Your momma will always love you. Even when life does not turn out the way I hoped it would for you. I love you.
Second-God loves you.
Let’s focus on that second one, and some of the things I wish people had said to me when I was a 19 year old unwed mother. When life had not turned out the way I planned. When my outward sin was on display for the whole world to see. When everyone had well-meaning advice, but others had a slew of opinions.
God loves you.
You are unique. I didn’t know this as a young mom. My concept of love was caught up in the world’s definition, and it told me people loved you if you did what they expected. Never took a few wrong turns. Did everything the “right” way. So I poured all that into you, desperate to make things right.
And…I messed up many times.
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young. 1 Timothy 4:12
God loves you. The road has turned a little. He will make it “right.” And along the way, son, you are going to make some mistakes.
Because you don’t have it figured out now. This parenting gig is a ball game like no other. And it seems all the coaches have a different playbook. Thing is…parenting does not come with a one-size-sits-all instruction manual. No matter what age you may be. I am 40, honey…and I ain’t got it right. I need Him. Everyday. Not the opinions of the world.
Society will ALWAYS have an opinion of the perfect parent. And I am here to tell you, to break it to you-you will NEVER measure up. The perfect parent is not the one who never struggles. The perfect parent is not the one who has never had to decide between diapers and gas at the end of the month. The perfect parent is not the one who never had a child fall out of the bed, get a bruise in the center of their forehead when they were learning to walk, or whose first word was a four-letter word that was NOT “milk.”
The “perfect” parent is you. The parent God picked for your child.
You will doubt your ability to do the right thing. To guide your son. To provide for him. Daily.
You will be judged for your choices as a parent. Daily.
You will make mistakes. Guaranteed.
If you ever doubt this, just call yo momma. I’ll sort it all out for you. Because I’ve done all those things and then some.
Know this: You are his “perfect” parent. Who is loved by God. Always. Loved by your momma. Always.
Love, Your “Imperfect” Momma, but the “Perfect” Momma for You!