I remember back in the early 90’s a family sitcom called “Life Goes On.” The show chronicled the life of a family dealing with the challenges of raising and supporting a family member with Down’s syndrome. A sister who had to learn to accept her brother, while trying to be accepted by her peers. Navigating a relationship resulting in grief, until we find in the end they all grow up. They all navigate and move through life with all its up and downs, and that life really does go on, just like the theme song for the show promised.
But, sometimes in the midst of it all, you are forced to put life on hold for a while.
In order to be reminded that life does go on, but so will you.
Life was actually going pretty good. I had finally let go of some junk. Had a routine down that kept me balanced. I was happier. Had more joy. And I could count on only one hand the number of times I had cried at work this year. I didn’t dread the commute. The day. No longer cried on my way home. I felt like I was in a balanced place.
In fact, the moment that all would turn for me, I had been doing what I had been doing daily-laughing. I was finally, after more than a year, feeling like myself again.
Until I wasn’t.
And in a matter of hours, I began to shift back into that irritable, cry at the drop of a hat, negative thought having woman of old.
And life had to stop. Or, well it really didn’t. It went on. Without me.
I was the one forced to stop.
I couldn’t do anything. The girl so used to going, couldn’t go. I couldn’t even pray in the same way. Moved to my seated position in my closet to laying down. All to keep the world from spinning.
I felt alone. I felt like I had no idea who I was. Fear that life was going on, just as it should.
And it did. Life went on. Continued to spin on its axis, just like my head.
Life went on…and so did I?
For a moment I was lonely, until laying in my closet floor, surrounded by the prayers I had placed on the wall, I saw this:
You are with me; your rod and your staff comfort me. Psalm 23:4
God was there on that floor with me.
While I may have been a little fearful of my prognosis. Of what others would think (or even not think) of it, I was reminded over and over in my doubts:
Tell fearful souls, “Courage! Take heart! God is here, right here, on his way to put things right And redress all wrongs. He’s on his way! He’ll save you!” Isaiah 35:4
And though I couldn’t see it at first, he was giving me power once again. Reminding me that life goes on, and so will I?
Giving me words to write (well, transcribe) when writing became too hard. Giving me time for much needed rest. Giving me fresh new ideas I hadn’t thought possible before. You know, back when I thought my life was balanced. I could see that I rarely gave myself time to even think of my purpose, and all the ways my talents could be used for His glory.
Until I was forced to step away from life for a bit.
To learn that I will go on. That just like last time, I’ll get through this with His strength. I’ll feel like the “me” He desires me to be me once again.
Obladi oblada life goes on, brahhh Lala how the life goes on
And so will I.