How much more?

How much more God? How much more do you want me to take?

As I struggle daily with actually carrying out what He has asked me to do, I wrestle frequently with wanting desperately to just give up. Asking Him to just send someone else, because surely I must not be it.

As I sit here feeling this way again, I am reminded of what Jesus said to God in the Garden of Gesthemane, surely at a point of wanting to give up: “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me.” (Matthew 26:39). Surely wondering why he had to suffer for good.

And at the end of that heart to heart with God, he also said this: “Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

That will also included me. The will that died a gruesome death on a cross, and poured out love for me.

Who did what it took to reach me.

Putting people in my life to speak truth to me, even if I didn’t listen. Providing hardship after hardship, so I would eventually fall on my knees and seek Him. Who forgave. Loved. Forgave and loved again. Even when I didn’t show the same to Him.

He took as much as it took to reach this one.

So how much more God?

As much as it takes to reach that one.

As much as it takes for someone to feel love.

As much as it takes.

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