I woke up that morning, after deciding at some point in the middle of the night that I was giving up. I had finally waved the white flag of defeat.
On what, exactly? Prayer. Not all prayer. Just a specific one.
As I sat in my favorite chair, I glanced down at my old, worn out Bible. The one I knew had prayers written in it. I picked up a different one. “Lord show me. Lead me. Help me. Tell me what I need to do for you today.” It was something I had been asking of Him daily, surrendering to His will. Trying to be still, and listen, and listen to His voice so I wasn’t moving ahead of Him (or waving that white flag too soon…oops).
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7, NLT
The verse that began my daily devotional. And so I looked down and caught a glimpse of that old, worn out Bible. The one I had tossed to the side, and I heard this: “I never told you not to pray. You decided that on your own. What are you going to do?”
What WAS I going to do? White flag, remember?
I picked it up. That Bible. Surrender. That’s my word. And opened to this:
Then the Lord said to Job, “Do you still want to argue with the Almighty?
You are God’s critic, but do you have the answers?” Job 40:1-2,NLT
I did. Boy, did I want to argue with God. I was weary from prayer. I felt those prayers were fruitless. I had been burdened with those prayers, and I still for the life of me did not understand the purpose.
But I did it anyway. I found a sticky note. Prayed over it. And then surrendered it to God.
I did it anyway.
“Lord show me. Lead me. Help me. Tell me what I need to do for you today.”
When you ask Him these things, He will show you. Lead. Help. Tell. You may not like what you hear. You may be tired. Weary. Sick of the burden.
But…do it anyway.