I frequently go through periods when I purge spaces in my home. I have a tendency to hold onto things, and the “stuff” accumulated around me can become overwhelming.
In the purging of items like clothes, and only half-working appliances, I often find some reminders of who I was, or rather always had been. Pictures, cards, even old journal entries. Proof that I always enjoyed writing. That I always had something to say, and had found a way to do so.
What I enjoy finding during these purge sessions is the evidence that God was always present, even if I was not actively seeking Him. Case in point:
My mom found this and framed it for me. I then found it stashed away in some box. Forgotten. Until found again. I wrote this when I was 10, a kid who didn’t really have much use for God, but evidence that He was in pursuit long ago.
A kid (with her nose in a book, surrounded by stuffed animals), a teen, and then an adult who processed life through writing.
And then stopped for a time.
When I began 2021, I was in a state of transformation. Of finding my voice. Who I was. What I wanted to accomplish. What legacy I wanted to leave. Reflecting on past choices. Past hurts. Past triumphs. And dreams left to die.
I went into 2021 intent on not letting any more dreams die, but also wanted to surrender to God’s voice telling me to move forward. Not going farther than He desired, and not moving ahead of Him. This required I actually believe that He loved me. That I was worthy of big dreams. That in itself was a process. Heart-wrenching, but soul saving.
Through the many conversations, angry prayers, and surrender (often surrendering over and over), God revealed the things I had been hiding, holding onto, and believing about His love, His promises, and His plans for me; calling me to a place where trust in people was challenged, and trust in Him became of utmost importance.
He made me believe in my big dreams again.
One of those big dreams? Publish a book.
Through the wrestling with who God made me to be, I found the voice I let lie dormant for too many years. I had to sift through the lies that society, the people around me, and Satan had me believing were the truth about me. And this devotional was the result. A labor of love from the One who loved me first. A reminder that I am more than just a face. Have a voice, that He desires be heard.
One who doesn’t want another women or girl (or even a guy) questioning their worth; or letting their big dreams die.
Perhaps you need to take a journey to finding who He meant for you to be, too!
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