I want to be a woman who is known for her love of God, and because I know just how much a lack of boundaries can hurt us physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually, I have made it one of my professional and personal goals to establish some better boundaries in my life. This means figuring out the lies I believed about them, and what are the actual truths I now know. The road to boundary setting, both with my clients and in my life in general, has truly been an eye-opening journey. One that revealed that I was tolerating some very toxic behaviors in the “name of love,” that were not very loving, and only teaching others how to take advantage. Not to love at all.
Some of those myths I believed, and that you may to-I am hoping to dig into today. These are the most common that demonstrate how the call to love and show compassion can get oh so twisted.
We are to allow and tolerate all kinds of behavior in the name of love.
Forgive, turn the other cheek. This comment will be used to justify poor behavior, but Jesus has some clear directions when addressing poor behavior both in the church and outside of it.
You can’t block people on social media, or in general. That’s rude and mean
It’s mean if the intention behind it was to be mean. But if the intention was to create distance, to remove a lifestyle trigger, or maybe you did out of respect for someone else, then it’s not mean at all. It’s a personal boundary that needs no explanation.
If I say “No,” I am being disobedient.
Did you lie about your “No,” or did you just decide you didn’t feel like helping? Or were you truly busy? You CAN help later. That is acceptable.
Setting limits shows intolerance.
Setting limits is teaching them how to treat you with respect, dignity, honor, and with the values you have decided matter to you and your household. One of these limits will have to be your desire to serve God over the world, which means some people will have to go.
Listen to the full episode and my full thoughts on each of these myths in on Spotify! You don’t want to miss this one.